Here again

This was how my day was from the start. Crap. Just because of some miscommunication and assumptions. It's like, the power we have, the ability for us to carry out work, is truly up to us. The stagnant, immobile things is not gonna go anywhere. Everyday is like rush this rush that when we could basically take our own ("sweet") time. I don't mean to sound like a procrastinator, I'm not. I just mean why rush. What's all the hurry about. I have issues. Yet, rushing frustrates me all the time. Sigh. Does anyone else face this dilemma? 

Just finished my pilates workout and it was good. As per usual, I sweat off my whole attire and my poor yoga mat. My arm and thigh muscles hurt. I feel sorry for myself but I know the next day I will be so satisfied huehuehue. A bad mood can indeed help when you work out. It just pushes you to go further and harder. Train insane or remain the same. How unfortunate that I only have one more month to count down. But, I need to get on with life. Progress and strive. I am not done most of my checklist. Now listening to Shura. Such chill music.

Posted on instagram, shall be posted here once again. Totally love this place, since it is close-by my house. Probably have been here for about four times already? Was here yesterday night chilling with my brother and Jeremy. Had the cafe latte and it was so good. The richness of the coffee bean and perfect blend of hot milk was just right. Basically, it's great.

Life, being real here, I don't know what I want anymore. Like I don't have a preference. If there are choices out there for me, like selective choices, I would be all open-minded and be ready to accept any one of those choices. I do have high standards but it's like I don't care anymore. Which is bad. I do not understand what has become of me. I think these past few months has been draining my soul and energy out. This doesn't really include me being passionate bout my career, studies or fitness-wise. It is more of how I feel about everything else. Which is weird because I used to care so much, on things that meant the whole world to me or how others perceive me to be. I guess everyone else has that feeling too. Right now, I just don't care. I can't exactly compare that there are much more important things that matters more than what meets the eye, but yeah, that's the truth.

Even though it hurts, like the past catches up on you, or when shit hits the fan, it is all going to be just fine and dandy. People out there has experienced way worse scenarios. I try to make myself feel better just by listening to music or sometimes writing in my diary. But something's changing and I don't know why. I guess I have been through a lot of hell, so whatever happens, I know I can make it through just the next obstacle in life. Whether it is arguments, jealousy, or misunderstandings. It will fade when I truly grow up. I wish I could take care of myself. I can't believe that I made it to this stage. And I can't remember what happened in half the hell I went through. Well, it is all good now.